If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my shit smells like andre
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
