I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
