im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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