Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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