check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
