I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Pants are for mortals
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize