my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
