Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
from now on my penis is your penis
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
