She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
