her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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