one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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