Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
