omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
