She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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