Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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