Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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