Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I can't put those talents on a resume
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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