It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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