You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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