Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
