My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I understand Curling. That high.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
