let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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