we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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