AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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