yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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