i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
