so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
