Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
