What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
