ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
