This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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