I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
