I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
