I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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