I've blown a few things in my day
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
