One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The air was thick with penises
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
