he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
