the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
