my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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