You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
