Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
