At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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