Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
