I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
