I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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