I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
