They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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