I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
