I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
