yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Bring me that man meat
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I love you.
Bad choice
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
