She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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