Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
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You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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