I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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