My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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