I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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