she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
