I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
