He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
