evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
