I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
