It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
