I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
