You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Tell her she can't have a vagina
We got so high we made milksteak
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
