there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I pour the whiskey from now on
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
