only if we run a train.
done.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
