If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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